I have a suggestion for you.
This Christmas you make a conscious effort to stay calm and compassionate – whatever curve-ball life might throw at you. You keep your cool. You bite you tongue if necessary and swallow the bitter remark without saying it.
This Christmas you are not rehashing old arguments and you are not falling for the trigger points your partner, your kids or your family present. You stay calm, compassionate and centred in yourself and let these things bounce of you. You are titanium.
Look, Christmas is the major time for couples to get into fights over petty things. The reason is this: you are suddenly spending three or four uninterrupted days together and at the same time everyone’s expectation are sky high.
Everyone wants the most sparking, the most enjoyable and simply the perfect Christmas experience for their family, their partner and kids, and for themselves. With these high expectations it is no wonder that the stress builds up…and we all know from past experiences that there is always something going wrong. It might be that your famous dessert does not come together, your kids are in a bad mood, or your partner is teasing you about not having enough sex or your family.
In the past those trigger points would have caused an eruption on your side, blowing the whole Christmas mood out the window in no time. But not this year.
This year, you stay calm, cool and collected, and you respond compassionately. Maybe the dessert can still be eaten, tasting as good as always. Maybe the kids are just going through some growing pains and need comfort, not boundaries. And maybe your partner just trying to make an old joke about your family and you can laugh it off together.
You will see everyone’s surprise, in the moment that you react differently from what they expect. They will all change their behaviour as well.
I’m not saying that you need to devalue yourself or disown yourself. Not at all. Be yourself and use love and understanding as your guidance.
I’m wishing you a wonderful, relaxing and peaceful Christmas and a great start into an amazing 2020.
Please reach out if there’s anything I can help you with. Relationships are what I do!