Renovating – a sure fire way to put stress into your relationship.

In any relationship there are few pivotal moments that have the potential to make or break the harmony. Meeting the parents for instance or the birth of your first child or moving house.

And even worse… renovating. Renovating is a very stressful experience for any couple.

When we move in together we make do with what we have – the good or the bad, we take it as it is. Now with renovating, we are going back to the drawing board where we can freely design and decide what we want – or so we think. In reality, we have to compromise with the ideas and taste of our partner.

Decisions can cause stress, because they have major implications. Every change can potentially add thousands of dollars to the overall bill, or weeks to the schedule. When we buy the wrong t-shirt, we waste a couple of dollars. Deciding the wrong colour for the new kitchen costs us big time. The pressure is on, both on the decisions you make and on your relationship.

A big project like renovating needs someone to be responsible. Project managing a renovation adds to the workload of at least one of you in your relationship. Suddenly you are not just juggling work, life, relationship and kids, but also all the tradespeople wanting access to your home.

Things will go wrong, parts will go missing, work gets delayed and things just do not turn out the way you’ve anticipated them. To add insult to injury, your partner might blame you for the things that can go wrong, even though they are out of your control, and when you add constant noise and dirt to the mix, you have a perfect storm to derail even the most solid of relationships.

I’ve got three tips for you to avoid the stress of renovating on your relationship –

  1. Plan and start your renovation knowing that something will go wrong along the way and that it will cost at least 20% more than envisaged.
  2. Talk as often as you can and share the responsibility and workload.
  3. Go out together as often as possible, and try to leave the havoc and stress at home behind you.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me on if you would like to discuss this further.

I am not a renovation expert, but I am a relationship expert, and I can help you to stay on track in spite major renovations going on. J