Have you ever been to a party and met a nice couple and started to chat with them?
Maybe while you were chatting with them you saw how close they were with each other. So much so, that for the whole evening they never left each other’s side?
Even hours after you moved on, you still could see that couple standing there, holding hands and chatting with other guests, still never venturing away on their own.
And then, on the other side of the room perhaps, there is another couple who look completely different. Perahps he is standing alone with his mates and she is somewhere else in the room and chatting with her friends. The whole evening you never see them next to each other.
Which one do you think has the better relationship?
Which one of the two would you rather be?
There is no right or wrong answer here. Just by seeing these different couples, you can never know their story. The first couple might have just had a major blow to their relationship and want to spend as much time together as possible. And then again, they might just be shy and not used to speaking to so many different people and need each other as an anchor.
The second couple might have just had a big crisis and want to enjoy an evening without their partner. Or they could be so relaxed in their relationship that they want to spend time with different people and on their way home they exchange all the news they’ve heard during the evening.
In any case, the challenge though, is to have a common understanding.
You know the gap between expectation and reality is the major cause for any stress. In other words, you need to speak with your partner before going to a party to make sure that you both want to experience a relaxed evening without disrespecting the expectations of your partner.
I personally like a healthy mix of the two extremes discussed here today. Let’s meet some new people together and also give each of us the time and space to explore on our own.
And then – sometime during the night – you might find that you and your partner smile at each other from across the room. Magic!