If you look at any couple who’ve been together for more than 10 years, you will find that they have a natural tendency to store information in each other’s head.
Ask them a question on any event that has happened five or six years ago they will most likely each tell you parts of the story, inserting elements on behalf of one another, recalling parts for each other, until the story seems whole. Sometimes one of them is better with numbers and facts, while the other is better with names and emotions.
So why would you need to remember the birthday of one of your friends, when your partner will make sure to remind you in time?
It isn’t uncommon for partners to rely on the memory of their partner, oftentimes so much so that it’s been given a name – an externalised memory. It’s pretty much like an external hard-drive for your computer.
So, why is this relevant for you to know?
Well in the unfortunate event that one of the two is no longer able to be in the picture – through perhaps extended travel, sickness or even death; the other is left standing alone, not only feeling like they’re missing a great partner, but also a great chunk of his memory.
But, and now comes the critical part, this is also true in case your split up with your partner.
This is one of our great fears when it comes to a struggling relationship. We feel like we are not only losing half of our assets, half of our friends, half of our union – we are also losing a great chunk of our memory which we conveniently outsourced to our partner.
This might not be at the forefront of our minds when we see our relationship struggling, but in our subconscious, it is playing a part. And our inner voice is left warning us, reminding us of our worst fears – “What am I going to do without him/her in my life”.
So, what could you do to prevent this all from happening? You need to keep working on your relationship every day. Trust your partner and be trustworthy yourself. Listen to your partner and share your thoughts. And most of all spend quality time together where you can create magic moments and memories you both keep in your heart and in your mind forever.
Please check out my next webinar here: www.inspiring-relationships.com.au/webinar
