Does Carmen qualify for a long lasting relationship?

Today I want to talk about the opera Carmen.

Currently Carmen is playing in the Sydney harbour and it is a great opportunity to see this beautiful opera again under the stars with the backdrop of opera and the bridge. Over the weekend a dear friend of mine asked me: “Does Carmen qualify for a long lasting relationship?” The answer is not straight forward. But let’s analyse the opera.

It is a play of power. And in every relationship you have the balance of power or you have the unbalance of power. And in Carmen this unbalance of power is playing out actually three times.
Because Michaela loves Don Jose. If he would turn to her, she would be so delighted. And he – like a lot of men – likes to have someone he can’t have. It would be easy for him to turn to Michaela, but No – he wants to seduce Carmen. Because she seems to be out of his league.

He falls in love with Carmen and tries to seduce her. And Carmen on the other side, does she love Don Jose? Not really, I think she’s just using him as her “Get out of Jail free” card – so to speak. Obviously she’s paying with her body and he thinks he now is in love and has a relationship with Carmen. But that’s not true. Still Don Jose quits the military and follows Carmen wherever she would go.

But eventually Carmen meets Escamillo and again she meets someone, who is outside of her league. And she wants Escamillo so therefore she seduces Escamillo and totally neglects Don Jose. Who’s then green for envy and eventually – as you know – kills her and thereby kills his own life – because he’s then going to prison for life.

So we have this unbalance of power between Don Jose and Michaela, we have this unbalance of power between Carmen and Don Jose and again we have this unbalance of power between Escamillo and Carmen.

Does Carmen even qualify for a long lasting relationship? No, she doesn’t. Because she’s trying to get someone she can’t have instead of living with someone she has already. Her power is way higher than Don Jose’s and therefore she not interested in him.

Long story short – my tip for you today is: have a look at your own relationship and see for the balance of power within your own relationship. And if the balance is not there, make an effort to build it.

That’s all for today and I love to read your comments how you see Carmen and the opera and how you see a lasting relationship for Carmen unfold.