It is easy to succumb to routine and normalcy when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time.  Busy schedules and day-to-day comings and goings can often result in couples losing the passion and fire they once felt for each other, forgetting the tactics they once used to vigorously invest in their relationship.

It is a common conundrum in lots of marriages – how do we reinvigorate the romance in our long-term relationship?

The answer may be easier than you anticipate.  While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to bringing the excitement back to your marriage, there are small steps you can take to show your partner how much they mean to you every single day.

Today, I’ll share some quick and easy ways you can romance your significant other on a regular basis, to encourage the loving feelings between you both and to entice your lover to reciprocate your efforts.

Communicate daily appreciation – This one should go without saying really, but the truth of the matter is, we often forget to praise our partners.  Take the time to really think about the last time you said something kind or appreciative to your partner, even something as simple as saying ‘I love how you bring me coffee on Sunday mornings’, or ‘Thank you for keeping me warm at the football game on the weekend’.  We all too easily shift the way we communicate with our partners when the honeymoon period wears off, replacing words of romantic meaning and love with instructional and functional language – ‘Did you get the milk?’ or ‘Who will collect the kids?’.  By becoming mindful of the language we use and the way in which we convey our appreciation to our partners, we are instinctively letting them know that they have worth to us and that we respect them.  Aim to share at least one message of thanks every single day, and your partner will feel special and noticed. Kind communication and daily affirmation go a long way to helping to reinvigorate the romantic feelings within your relationship, and the more you do it, the more you’ll want to do it.

Physical touch – Physical touch plays a huge factor in romance, although the common misjudgement is that physical touch must mean or lead to sex.  This is certainly not the case.  Unexpected touch can release the love feeling hormones dopamine into the brain, making the recipient feel excited and happy and oftentimes, reminiscent about the early days you spent together.  Touch your partner’s face when they talk with you, embrace them for a little longer when they return home from work, or grab their hand as you walk to the coffee shop together – these small, achievable romantic gestures will surprise your partner but help them to feel especially connected and appreciated by you.  Physical touch can play a part of your relationship every day, without either one of you feeling pressured or obligated to take your touching any further.

Planning and sharing connection–While ‘date nights’ have appeared to be a staple piece of advice to couples for ions, it can prove difficult to orchestrate babysitters, time off together or new ideas to share together.  The thing is, planning and sharing connection does not have to be a monumental task.  You can weave these plans into your daily repertoire with some simple tasks you can both connect over – reading the same book or listening to a favourite album together can inspire memories and conversation between you both, taking up a hobby you both love like a team sport or weekend activity can feel a lot less like a ‘date night’ and more like a shared passion, or selecting a menu and sourcing ingredients and preparing it together can be a cost-effective alternative to dining out.  Planning incidental time together and intentionally sharing the connection it brings can foster romantic feelings, instill celebration by achieving goals together and give you both plenty of conversation starters that doesn’t involve work, the kids, bills or the house.

Romance is an important factor in our relationships, but so often, we forget to keep investing time and energy into keeping the romantic sparks alive.  While candle-lit dinners and romantic getaways are always appreciated, romance can begin at a grass roots level and can become a part of your daily rituals and conversations.  Not only will your partner feel important, loved and respected, but you will feel better for communicating with authenticity and kindness.


To learn more about how to make your long-term relationship come alive again, check out our Inspiring Relationships 8-week online course – Desire – Decision – Dedication.  This course is packed with tips and ideas to help guide both you and your partner to re-build and re-connect in your loving, intimate and respectful relationship!