You and I, we are partners on this very personal journey for you to an inspiring relationship. Therefore I thought it a good idea to be very upfront and transparent in stating my beliefs. You can decide for yourself whether you can build trust in me when reading the following.

Thank you!

 

Abuse

As for violence, abuse is an absolute no-no in any relationship. I think if someone is being abused in a relationship, they need to walk out of that relationship; there is no excuse for abuse or violence.

Alcohol

I understand that alcohol is a very important part of our society. I love my glass of wine, funnily enough being German I don’t like beer. Very often I see the misuse of alcohol. Too much alcohol fogs your decisions and can alter your behaviour. More easily you lose respect for yourself, lose respect for your partner and the result are bitter arguments or even violence. All things considered alcohol is a very dangerous substance and needs to be taken only in small dosis.

Being a good person

I think in everyone there is a good core, a good soul. I belief in the positivity. A healthy lasting relationship can help you to bring out the good in yourself.

Belief

The belief you adapt over time is a filter through which you see the world. When your belief system is healthy you see a healthy world. If your belief system is that your relationship is a happy and lasting one, then your relationship will be a happy and lasting one. It sounds simple – but it is not.

Calm

Staying calm in situations of crisis can be very healthy for yourself and for your loved ones. I know how difficult it is to stay calm in the face of adversity. Calmness gives you the clear head to analyse the situation and evaluate the different options presenting themselves. Stay calm, it is absolutely worth it.

Care

You want to live in a caring relationship, you want to be cared for in the case if anything happens or care for your partner in a similar situation. Only a caring relationship can be a lasting relationship.

Children

I could go on forever and ever talking about children, it is our future, it is our most vulnerable treasure. In my view, we haven’t inherited the planet from our forefathers; we are just the custodians for our children. They need to be protected and we need to protect our planet so that our children can live in a happy and respectful way on this earth.

Community

I think we live in a fantastic society; we owe it to the community to help each other, so we can all live in this fantastic world and maintain this great community. At the core of the community is the relationship within each family; by helping the family and relationships to be sustainable we have a sustainable community.

Compassion

My tips and ideas that I share with you is coming from a deep sense of compassion towards a healthy loving relationship. I am very compassionate man and your well-being is my deepest concern.

Confidence

I think for a happy and long lasting relationship you need confidence on each side of the partnership. Be confident in yourself, confident in your abilities in your strengths and potential. You can then radiate this confidence out to your partner, who in turn can then believe in your confidence which helps them to believe in their own confidence.

Counselling

My tips and ideas that I am sharing on this website are not counselling. I have no psychology degree nor am I qualified as a counsellor. My tips are coming from my personal experiences, from stories I have learnt from others and by observing other relationships.

Creativity

Allow yourself an outlet of creativity. It can be painting, singing, writing or doing pottery. Discover your creative side and it helps you to stay sane. It also allows you to see another side of yourself and to show others that creative side of yourself. Ultimately it helps you in your relationship. Creativity paired with romance – wow the sky is your limit.

Curiosity

I am such a curious person I always want to know what is behind the door, what is behind the red curtain. This curiosity helps me in our relationship, because I am always curious to know what is going on in the world of my friends of my family and most of all in the world of my wife. If you remain curious you are able to see and understand more of their world.

Divorce

This whole program is about helping you to live in a long lasting relationship, so why do I even mention divorce here. There are times and circumstances where a divorce is good. It is better to split up and face the consequences than living a constant lie. If you are staying together because of the kids, don’t think that they don’t know what is going on. They have a very good radar for whatever is troubling you. Be true to yourself, be true to your kids. If it is no longer bearable a divorce can be good allowing you a fresh start with new hope.

Emotions

I think in a healthy loving relationship, emotions need to be seen and need to be allowed. Sometimes living in our fast paced world we do not allow ourselves to show emotions. In your private relationships you must be allowed to show emotions. I think even in any personal relationship you should be allowed to show emotions, but that might have to be discussed.

Equality

I think we are all made equal, I think the situation around the world craves for equality among people. That is how I treat people and that is how I expect others to treat me, as an equal.

Family

Family is the highest value on my value list. It is the source for my daily pleasure my fulfilment. I would do anything I can to keep this healthy family relationship. My goal on this website is to help you have a healthy and respectful relationship with your family as well.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an interesting concept. When you forgive someone else, in fact first of all you forgive yourself. Once you understand that it is all about forgiving yourself, not necessarily the other person then you understand the world a little bit better.

Friends

As friends are like family to me and family is my highest value, friends are very important to me as well. I have a great group of very good friends, some of them for over 40 years, even though that we are half a world apart. Even over the long distance between Germany and Australia we keep in contact, and the moment we meet is just like we had met the day before. This is how it should be with very good friends.

Fulfilment

In any relationship I think each and everyone within the relationship needs to search for their own fulfilment and this comes out of a deep understanding of yourself, your needs and the expectations you have towards the other person, that is the only way you can have a fulfilled life.

Fun

Fun is number five on my value list. Without fun life is boring. Whenever I can, I put a twist on things, sometimes with a quirky sense of humour, sometimes people shake their heads. Sometimes it is a German-English humour, which might backfire. Although most of the time I am having great fun with my friends and family and they all appreciate that.

Happiness

I think the USA has it in their constitution, the right to pursue happiness. I think everyone has the right to pursue his or her own happiness. This comes at a price, if you search for your happiness, then you need to do something for it. Nobody can make you happy, but only you can make yourself happy.

Honesty

This is number two on my value list. Without honesty you cannot relate to other people. Whenever I meet someone I conduct an honest conversation. I present myself as being honest and I expect the same from the person on the other side. Sure, sometimes I get disappointed, but that is not the end of the world. It doesn’t stop me from trusting others and being honest with others.

Humanity

What I said about community is even more valuable for humanity; again the survival of humanity depends on proper relationships, having kids being raised in a happy environment, so that humanity has a chance to survive.

Individualism

Many people see a loving relationship as being one new entity, and they give up their own life and expect the partner to do the same to be in this new entity. In my view you are still two individuals and you need to maintain your individualism to make the relationship a lasting one. The moment you give up on yourself and give into being one new entity with your partner, the spark is gone, only with individualism you can maintain an exciting, lasting relationship

Inspiring others

That is number four on my value list, this whole website is about inspiring you to live in a happy respectful and lasting relationship

Journey

I think the long lasting relationship that you have is a journey not a destination. It is daily work, it is exciting, sometimes it might be boring, but together you will always discover new things, new places and new emotions.

Learning

Learning is also very high on my value list. To put it bluntly the day you haven’t learnt one new thing is a wasted day. My goal in life is to learn every day until the day I die.

Love

For many people love is at the core of a loving lasting relationship. But respect is so much more important. Sometimes love is just a four-letter word. It is a verb; it is about doing, about actively loving someone. If you are saying I am in love and hoping, expecting that this is a constant, you are mistaken. Love is evolving with your relationship and changing with your relationship. Love is an activity not a destination.

Marriage

I think that marriage is important and at the same time highly over-rated.Our society needs the commitment and therefore the society favours marriages over defacto relationships. Our society needs married couples as the building blocks for the community. Having said that the day of the wedding is not the be all and end all. There is no need to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on your wedding. You would be better off to spend some of the money on your personal development and your relationship and getting to know each other better.

Money

I think money is more important than sex. Your relationship to money will not change as much as sex will change over the lifetime of your relationship. Therefore you need to make sure that the relationship to money is spoken about and is understood between the two of you. If one is very frugal and the other is spending money left, right and centre, there will come a time when this becomes a huge conflict.

Parents

I think parents are important; they are obviously part of your family. Look under family – it is my highest value, and I highly value my parents and my in-laws. Still the moment I got married – and our kids were born – the order shifted. Your parents and your in-laws need to step back. You properly love them dearly but there is a place for the parents and there is a place for your spouse and your children, and you need to know and set your priorities.

Pornography

It is pretty simple: garbage in equals garbage out. The worldview, which is shown on a pornographic movie or a pornographic clip on the internet, is just the wrong worldview, it doesn’t happen that way, ever. It is such a disrespectful male-centric view, don’t buy into that.

Privacy

As I said under individualism, you need to respect the privacy of your spouse, and that goes very deep. It is her handbag; it is his stuff; her telephone; his iPad and so on. There is no room to spy on each other. Keep the privacy and the respect for each other – it will help you to conduct a long lasting relationship.

Protection

Protection is similar to caring. It is the way you conduct yourself towards your partner. You protect your partner against any harm and any risk. And this goes for both genders.

Religion

My tips and ideas that I am sharing on this website are not filtered through any religion and they are for your benefit regardless of your specific religion. I don’t have any religious agenda or purpose with this website and sharing my tips.

Respect

As you will see on this website with the tips I am sharing, it is all around respect. For me respect is the most important thing and at the core of any (loving) relationship. In my view respect is more important than love, or sex for that matter. If you don’t respect the other person and you don’t respect yourself, first you will mistreat yourself and then mistreat others. Respect is absolutely at the core.

Romance

I am such a romantic person and have so many romantic ideas literally each day. I would love to share this with you, give you ideas for your romantic side as well, and allow yourself to show your romantic side. I think everyone deep down in their soul has romantic side. You want to unleash it for you and your partner.

Sexual misconduct

Obviously under sexual misconduct falls rape, but that also falls already under violence and abuse, I think sexual misconduct goes further. I don’t want anything from my partner that she is not prepared to give. Any sexual misconduct which oversteps that line needs to be banished.

Talking

Talking is an interesting subject. If you look at the stats, the average couple speaks 7.5 minutes to each other per day – that is not good. Of course most of your daily hours go away through sleeping and working. But if you stop talking to your spouse and you just live together, that is often times the first crack in your relationship. This crack can easily amount to a chasm and eventually the breakup of your relationship, so keep talking.

Technology

I think technology is fantastic and important in our day to day life. I am recording this through an IPhone, put it on a website, using WordPress and publish my tips via Facebook. All this is obviously technology. But there is a place and time for using technology, and the place and time won’t be in the bedroom, when you are with your children or when you are eating. Please keep this in mind; technology does not need to be the one and only ruler of your life.

Trust

For me trust is very close to honesty and therefore high on my values. I am a very trusting person and meet everyone with an initial level of trust. And sure enough, if you radiate trust out, you are rewarded with trust. In a loving relationship trust is absolutely essential. Therefore keep your promises, keep your self-respect and trust your partner – you will be rewarded.

Values

I have mentioned before that some of these topics are high on my personal value list. It is a good thing to know your highest values, and even better to know the highest values of your partner as well. So that you can share these values and both live according to these shared values.

Violence

This is short and brisk. I am so against violence, I think in any relationship or in any conduct between people violence is just wrong. There is always a better solution to solve a conflict than through violence. If you find yourself being the victim of violence in your relationship, you need to get out – now. No excuses.

Wisdom

The tips and ideas I am about to share on this website, on Facebook and other social media is with the purpose to give you knowledge and information and thereby build wisdom around happy relationships and sustainable relationships.